top of page

Soul Work: 5 Tips for SELF LOVE

Photographer: Hannah Thornhill @twothirdshoney

The most important relationship in life is the one we have with ourselves. I feel as though we are never able to give anyone love or nourish them if we can’t love and nourish ourselves. We are all searching for self love, but the deep truth is that it has been sitting within you the whole time awaiting recognition. My true focus throughout my journey of self love was to accept and appreciate myself. Understand that it is physically impossible to change myself, and that I wouldn’t want to receive that type of internal rejection anyway.

I am perfect just how I am.

Welcome, as I share with you my five pieces of loving yourself, the rest is within you.

~ Detox your mind of ‘perfect’ ~

We are constantly being fed with ‘ideal’ or ‘perfect’ beauty images (very hard to avoid in this day and age on social media). But for you to find confidence in yourself; you must start on yourself.

A suggestion is to unfollow instagram accounts that make you feel less than you are or people you compare yourself to.

There is nothing wrong with this method, it just reflects your personal journey as a way to help you grow for the present time. As when you have found your confidence as an Goddess you can come back with a different set of eyes towards these people, and appreciate them for their beauty rather than creating comparisons or feelings of jealousy.

For the time being you want to create baby steps, as this is about you not anyone else.

This gives you the opportunity to build your own idea of beauty rather than it being fed to you through social media. When you are constantly observing an image of other people who you deem as ‘perfect’ you see something they have that you don't, and that digs a small hole into your heart. While you are focusing on other peoples beauty, your own is completely ignored and dismissed of existence.

Follow social media accounts that you admire because of their inner attributes rather than their outer attributes. Choose the ones that will help your growth and empower you on your own journey, as they are the most beautiful. At the end of the day social media is a misrepresentation of peoples lives, but through the energy you put out into the universe you will receive the ones who are true to their souls.

~ Acknowledge your previous damages and wounds ~

This requires deep internal healing and is purely focused on your personal experiences. This can stem from our childhood or upbringing or past/ongoing trauma. Perhaps we weren’t given love or we were treated certain ways by certain people - may it be our parents, family, teachers, friends etc. If we have not worked on healing these wounds, then they will remain in our hearts as a damaged part of us, which affects our capability to love ourselves and others. You are living through the wounded child within you. Even though it may not be visible to others, it can be the reason for all destructive patterns in your relationships. The child within you needs to know that its worthy or good enough - or whatever it was that trapped you in the past.

You need to acknowledge where this damage stems from and focus on healing it. Try to not resonate too much with your past, as of course this will forever be a part of you, but it does not define you. We subconsciously allow our past to define us as we grow from these experiences as a child, we perceive everything from the perspective of a victim, and we don’t realise that we allow it to be more than only a fragment of our story. Without it we feel vulnerable and weak, and if you have the ability to acknowledge this, then you have strength to regain your powers to heal yourself.

Surrender and let yourself move forward, through forgiveness and compassion.

~ Release expectations of yourself & the need to please others ~

The challenges you face throughout your self love journey will become easier once you realise that it is all about YOU. You are living for yourself and not for others. Drop the need to please others and reach their expectations of you, or what is ‘safe’ for you to do in your social realm. When you are acting within the eyes of others you are abandoning your true self and making her feel unworthy. Maybe in the moment you feel you are receiving self worth and respect from others, but when you leave that situation and you are alone, the feeling of self worth disappears. This feeling was only was present through a shape-shifted and altered version of your true self.

This is common for everyone to experience, identity changes and phases are tests we are given to help us crack the formation of our ego and find our true selves. Everyone is figuring out who they are, and that is okay. But through self awareness, you will begin to distinguish behaviours that are done for the approval of others or are true to your own behaviours.

Focus on you and only you. Let go of all current or previous constraints, because you have now come to a point where it is your time to radiate your light.

Remember that there is no certain way you have to be. Every interesting and different aspect you hold is what makes you deeply unique. Observe yourself and recognise all the different things you have to offer, because these attributes are what make you who you are! Reveal this person to the world without fear of judgement or fear of not being enough. Just know that you are projecting your trueness into the world, and the beautiful part about this is the people you attract will see you shining and will love you for you.

~ Pay attention to thoughts and emotions ~

Your thoughts are the most powerful part of you, and have such a high impact on your future, to break it down:

We live in a vibrating universe, which means everything around us has a vibrational frequency. Our thoughts are cosmic waves of energy, and they have the most powerful vibration. An emotion also has a frequency, so when you have a thought or feel emotion, you are sending this out into the universe. Consequently our deep hidden internal thoughts will remain in the external universe as we allow it to continue resonating outwards by feeding these thoughts. Your thoughts will soon be brought into existence unless you draw your awareness towards them. Begin to acknowledge your thoughts and let them to flow rather than trap you into a continuous pattern.

Slowly begin to work on releasing all negative thoughts and feelings (fear or judgments) by observation and flow. Negative thoughts such as ‘What do they think of me’ &‘ I can’t do this’ & ‘I look so disgusting today’ etc. are now thoughts that you must listen to, acknowledge that they are negative, and let them flow out of you. Replace these thoughts with ‘I can do this’ & ‘I do not care about opinions’ & ‘I look so beautiful today’ even if you don't feel this way, it is about allowing this energy to exist, the more you do it the more you will feel it within you.

When you hold full awareness on your thought process and emotions you are slowly releasing yourself from your internal cage. This is an integral part of your growth for loving yourself, as gaining the ability to acknowledge your emotions means you are becoming in tune with yourself.


Your thoughts can be brought into reality


You know that your thoughts are sacred, and your mind contains beautiful knowledge of the universe. Acknowledge the powerful energetic vibration of thoughts in your mind and utilise it. Create your dreams into reality.

The same goes with emotions, however we tend to attach ourselves to our emotions quite often, usually without realisation. One thing you must always remember, is that emotions are a motion, therefore they most continue moving forward. When we attach to the emotion and identify with it, we are suppressing them further and further. Our subconscious mind transmits our past suppressed emotions into the universe, and we are lengthening an internal buildup and conflict. Until we make room for them to properly flow and heal they will continue to remain and become reflections of all things we are drawn to (people, relationships, experiences, situations etc.).

Feel all your emotions to their fullest, whether it be sadness, anger, happiness, frustration etc. For true release of all emotions, you must enable them to rinse you to your deepest core until they have flowed out of you. Remember that just because you are feeling sad, does not mean you are sad. You are simply just a human being experiencing emotions, so try to not equate your feelings with your identity.

This also applies if you are someone who shares a lot of love and empathy towards your friends, family or loved one. Be aware of other peoples emotions and your own, sometimes we attach ourselves to others emotions because we love them so much. However, receiving energies can become an emotional overload for ourselves as we tend to feel what they feel, bringing our vibration down. Through self awareness you are able to recognise and identify which emotions belong to you or which belong to other people.

" When you relate to thoughts obsessively, you are actually feeding them because thoughts need your attention to survive. Once you begin to pay attention to them and categorize them, then they become very powerful. You are feeding them energy because you are not seeing them as simple phenomena. If one tries to quiet them down, that is another way of feeding them."

Chogyam Trungpa

~ Surround yourself with positive people and energy ~

This is known to most people but often ignored, as humans we always stay within our comfortability. Most of us crave the love and affection of others, which is beautiful. However, we are the only ones who can truly give us happiness and love because we feel it from within our hearts. When we love ourselves for who we are, this is the person that we are projecting into the universe. Our energy we send outwards, will soon become the energy we attract.

Some friendships are unknowingly toxic, and this means that this friendship may need to pass through. Releasing friends isn't an easy thing to do, but some friendships drain our energy and put a constraint on our growth. When we keep these toxic friends around we absorb their attributes and they become our own.

Ask yourself:

Do they support you, and want the best for you? Do they uplift you and make you feel beautiful? Have you noticed a shift in the way you speak and act around them? Do they reflect your views and morals? Are you still evolving as an individual?

Of course you can’t determine an expiry date for friendships, as everyones idea of love or support differs. However it is important to be able to detect these behaviours and know what is right for you, at the end of the day you are what is most important.


Work together with your mind, your temple and your soul, you are all one big team who share the same goal; your happiness. Two cannot work without the others and one can especially not work alone.



bottom of page